What Holds Us Back From Expressing Ourselves To The World?


It doesn’t matter who you are… whether you are a business man, a wife, a university student or a CEO… being able to express yourself is the vehicle by which you can offer your value into the world.  If you would like to add value into this world and experience a life standing in your full human potential then do read on.

The purpose of this BLOG is to bring some clarity to why people find it so difficult to express themselves freely AND how you can transform some of these blockages so you can feel excited about being yourself and sharing what you have to offer.

At a weekly group I host called “The Authentic Change Makers” we explored these blockages on Monday and I felt I would share these with the greater community as they were useful and relevant to many people. To find out more information about this group click here

A great way to know if you hold yourself back is to imagine what it would feel like if you were sharing an idea, a message or a joke in front of a group of people.  Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine what that would be for you?

For the majority of people on Earth at this time the feelings go something like this:

a)     Anxiety

b)    Stress

c)     Worry

d)    Doubt

e)     Insecurity

f)      Fear

g)     Shame

h)    Suffering

i)      Frustration

j)      Unworthiness

Take a moment to reflect on these emotions and see if these apply to you?  The key with transformation is brutal honesty and I encourage you to own up to the truth of the situation for you.  Nothing can change if you remain in denial or avoidance.

What most people don’t realize is that these emotions are the gatekeepers to your unconscious mind.  These emotions are telling you that you have unconscious beliefs that are out of alignment to your heart and truth.

How can you tell?  The test is simple.  If you feel expanded, excited, joyful then your beliefs are aligned to your heart and truth.  If you feel any form of contraction, fear based emotions or limitation within you then your beliefs are out of alignment to your heart and truth.

Okay so I hear you asking me, Nic how can I get in touch with what is going on at the unconscious level?  Here is a simple self exploratory way you can do that.

Ask yourself this question: What must I believe to be true about myself & life for me to be expressing the emotions of XYZ?

The first key point to realize is that its impossible to experience an emotion without having a belief or definition preceding it.  The intention of this process is to become aware and observe what you are believing to be true about yourself and life without judging yourself in the process.

The second key with this process is to be open, curious and playful.  Don’t take it seriously. Become like the observer of your life.  For a moment don’t take anything personal and just play with it, like if you were playing a game with a friend.

Here were some of the insights from participants that came out of The Authentic Change Makers on Monday.

  1. The need to be perfect
  2. Fear of Failure
  3. Fear of being seen as an idiot, fool, incompetent
  4. Fear of being judged
  5. Fear of being rejected
  6. Belief that what I have to offer or contribute is insignificant or inadequate
  7. Fear of getting hurt
  8. I don’t accept myself or approve who I am
  9. It’s not safe to share myself in front of a group of people
  10. I don’t appreciate or love myself
  11. Who I am is not okay
  12. There is something wrong or missing from me
  13. I don’t trust myself or others

As you can see, if you are holding onto these fears or beliefs then it makes sense why self expression would be challenging and in some cases impossible.

At a previous time in my life when I worked in the corporate world,  I would be in a meeting that had 10 or more people and often my hand would shake so much that I couldn’t pick up a glass of water or coffee without spilling it.  My voice would shake and I literally was in a state of terror and shock.

It’s very difficult to be useful and to enjoy life if the experience of self expression is terror.  What usually happens as a result is isolation because being with others is just too challenging and unpredictable.

In next week’s BLOG I will share with you a powerful process that can support you to let go and integrate these fears and limitations in a very effective way.

If you’d like support and be in a supportive group then I encourage you to come along to The Authentic Change Makers.  To receive more information click here

The final note I’d like to leave you is that self awareness and observing yourself moment to moment is the key to creating a life of freedom and expansion.  Do you take a moment to journal, self reflect or perhaps meditate?  It’s so easy to loose yourself in the world out there.  Having a strong sense of self is so essential.

Written by Nicolas Perrin of LionHeartCoaching

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