Video 2 – Defeating Self Sabotage

Welcome back LionHeart,

 

Today’s exploration is:

“Everytime I start taking steps towards my vision and dream and go outside my comfort zone I seem to fall into a cycle of procrastination and self sabotage. I avoid the things that I know will support me in stepping forward the most and often fill my time with mundane tasks. I feel frustrated and annoyed.

What is going on here? Why does this keep happening to me?”


The first thing to realise is that every time you attempt to step outside your comfort zone what are the emotions & feelings you feel in your body? For example it may be: “I feel fear, anxiety, stress, worry and doubt.” From these emotions we can then be aware of the self defeating thoughts such as: I’m not capable, I don’t know how, I’m not good enough, I’ve tried in the past and failed.

 

Let’s start by De-tangling the problem (what’s creating it):

 

Whenever we focus on a vision that is outside the current belief system structures, the way these beliefs reinforce themselves is through self sabotage/procrastination. We only hold onto something if we are receiving a benefit from it. Most of the time the benefits we are receiving from the beliefs are limited and were formed when we were children stuck in the unconscious mind running the show behind the scenes.

 

What are beliefs?

 

They are like the cookie cutter or template which determines what is possible within our life. If we have a square cookie cutter the cake, once it is baked, will be shaped like a square. If we expand this concept to the idea that if any possibility exists outside of the belief system you are currently holding onto, the belief will defend & reinforce itself through the following ways: an overwhelming sense of fear or paranoia, needing to justify, rationalise, project your perspective or reject other perspectives.
For example: Do you recall a moment in time when a person shared with you new information and your immediate response was to reject it? This is a classic example of where your existing belief system went into defence mode rejecting anything new that comes. If you are stuck in your ways or closed minded, your belief systems are strongly engrained in your psychy and you identify with them so strongly that you won’t want to change them.

 

So, how do I know if i’m holding onto a limited belief?

 

Your feelings in your body will tell you. If you feel any form of contraction, restriction or limitation then you are holding onto a limited belief system. When your life force energy moves through a positive or empowering belief system it creates the sensation of happiness, joy, excitement – or an expanded energy within the body.

 

Whereas if you are holding onto a belief system that is limiting or negative it will create fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, stress or a restrictive feeling within the body.

 

All emotions come from a belief or definition about life first.

 

When we make an experience mean something about us, we then reinforce or create a belief about ourselves and life.

 

Ultimately all experiences are inherently neutral, the meaning we attach to any experience is what creates the result we receive from them.
When we bring awareness to the beliefs or definitions with acceptance everything can be changed into something more useful.

 

Solution:

 

If you notice that your body has gone into contraction you can take the cue that you are holding onto a definition or belief that is out of alignment to your heart.

 

Remind yourself that all experiences are neutral and we can choose what meaning we attach to them.

Here is how you integrate the experience:
Let’s use an example such as: “Everytime I want to go to a networking event to meet new people I feel lots of fear and make up excuses why now isn’t the right time.

 

Firstly, you must own what you are feeling in your body.

 

For example: I am experiencing fear, limitation and I can feel it in my heart.

 

Secondly, you must take 100% responsibility for what you are experiencing. If someone else is showing up in your life and pushing your buttons they are offering you a gift to integrate a belief or definition that is out of alignment.

 

To take 100% responsibility… there is a knowing that the person or circumstance is offering you an opportunity to integrate a segmented aspect of yourself.

 

For example: Thank you to the networking event for showing me what is out of alignment. I now have the opportunity to integrate these fears so I can create a new
relationship with networking events.

 

Thirdly, With curiosity, acceptance and equanimity, allow your awareness to take you to the sensations and feelings in your body.

 

Go into the body and feel the sensations just as “moving energy”. Start to breathe into these feelings and if your body wants to move then move. If an overwhelming emotional release is necessary then allow yourself to experience what needs to be experienced. Tears are the physical body’s way of letting go.
For example: with the networking event example: Go to the part of the body and feel the sensations in the body while breathing into that part. I may be feeling sensations in my heart.

 

Fourthly, Ask for what you would prefer now. What resources would support you to integrate into acceptance?

 

For example: Close your eyes and ask for the Resources: I’d love confidence, certainty, empowerment, clarity and connection.

 

Imagine that these resources fill every single cell of your being. You can place the resources into your heart or imagine you are breathing in these resources from a balloon.
Fifthly, Express gratitude for the opportunity of the experience and for being a courageous individual choosing to be real, heartfelt and honest.

 

This is an easy and empowering way for you to transform yourself – moment to moment. Remember that you always have the choice… it always starts with a choice and being really real with yourself.
My name is Nicolas Perrin and stay tuned for further great insights. I will share many ways you can be the empowered individual you were born to be – so you can create the dreams of your life.

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